Sunday, May 22, 2011

Anchors & Bows.

It's currently 3 in the morning which naturally seemed like the perfect time to get some things off my chest. This past week, and even the weeks before, have been really unsettling for me. Friendships, relationships, school, home, job searching, and most of all planning have all been on my mind. School will done for me by the end of the summer, leaving state boards to follow shortly after. Not only is time dwindling down, but it is dwindling at a very fast rate. Making decisions has never been an easy task for me to say the least. But where to spend my life, where to make my next fresh start, it's a lot to consider. I have been thinking so intensely about it all that I tend to freak myself out, horrible habit, I know believe me. I have come to some conclusions, well, let's call them possibilities, conclusions is too permanent for me at this present time. I know that I want to move, how far? How drastic? I am not sure, but moving is something that will happen, and needs to happen in the near future.

I need change. Plain and simple. My ability to control myself and distance myself from those that I need to is, well, nonexistent. I know that to better myself, and to be the person that I know I can be I have to remove myself and start fresh. Places like California, aka really freaking far away, and South Miami, are some of the selections I've made thus far. But honestly it hasn't occurred to me until recently that I let everyone tell me how to act, what to do, and how to be. I follow this path because people have deemed it appropriate. It shouldn't matter, because I am me. I am finding my spot in this world. I have fallen into an amazing career and I absolutely love it! I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. I have changed, and people have told me so many times recently that I seem different. It feels good to know I am on the right path and sometimes I just need to take a step back and truly realize how blessed I am. Old friends have re-entered my life, I've met some new amazing people, and I am ready to be the person that I was always meant to be :)

People change, and that's okay. It's taken me a long time to realize this, and now that I have I'm okay with it. At the end of the day I just want everyone to be happy. I might have some people in my life right now that aren't helping me get to where I need to be, but I know that no matter what I will get where I am going. Where ever that may be :)

... just wanted to show off the new hair that inspired the change :)

Truly lucky to have everyone in my life that I do, and couldn't ask for more!
Thank you everyone :)

xoxo.


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