you are the best thing.

So lately I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've come to the conclusion that there are so many things in this world that we can not control. We can't control the thoughts of others, or the way someone looks at us. We sure as hell can't control what happens, or change they way something played out in the past. And we can't change who we were meant to be. I'll never be a size 2, or be 6 feet tall and walk a runway in Milan. But that doesn't make me any less me; I feel like lately everyone has been trying to be something that they aren't, and here's a little secret, it doesn't work. I can't tell you how many times I've looked in a mirror and found numerous things I'd like to change about myself, but now I've decided to challenge myself and instead when I look in the mirror I have to tell myself something I'd never change. I dare you to try it. I have been blessed to have many amazing people in my life over the years that have loved me for me, but lately it seems that someone people only love me when I take them somewhere, or when I have something they need. Which takes me to my second thought today, friendships. 

Too often have I lost friends for no reason. Maybe it's something I didn't realize I was doing or maybe they just didn't want to be my friend. I call these people fakers. I don't understand why you would be friends with someone if you have no intention of truly being that persons friend. If you know me you know that my friends are my family. I will always hold a special place in my heart for my friends, and over the years I've made some truly amazing ones. I've also been hurt by some people very badly, but what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right? Sure. At this point in my life I've learned that people come and go in your life and the ones that truly matter are the ones that will come back. Since I moved here 7 years ago I've had roughly 10 or so true friends come in and out of my life, and I'm grateful for everyone of them, but I know that sometimes people are supposed to leave your life. This journey, aka life, isn't easy and it's harder when you don't have someone by your side to tell you it'll be okay or to just make you smile. My friends make me who I am, and I wouldn't change that for the world. Today I went to Starbucks (aka heaven) with my oldest friend here, Jenna. I met Jenna freshmen year when I was brand new in math class, algebra part a to be exact. We weren't really close till junior year, the year my life decided to go and get complicated. I don't know what I would have done without her those last two years of high school. I spent a week with her and her family in Ocean Shitty and from then on I've considered myself an honorary Reid :) This girl and I have been through it all, and I mean if it could have happened to a friendship it most likely happened to us, yet I still love her to death and would do anything for her. I mean come on I set her up with one of my close guys friends at the time and now they will be celebrating their 3 years in August, and yes I know I really should take up being cupid in my spare time. But mainly I love her because she's a true person. What do I mean by that? I've seen this girl in every mood there is and she's still an amazing, beautiful, loving person no matter what life throws her way. You'll go far punk :)

(we look like babies!)

The thing that I love about the people I've chosen to keep in my life right now is that they all understand my crazy schedule, and I think that's why I've lost some people because they just want to be friends when it works for them. Friendship isn't easy, it tends to sometimes be work. I'll never let my friends down, you can count on that. 

I feel like sometimes the people we surround ourselves with hold us back. I've been wondering lately what I want, and somehow I find myself weighing in what everyone in my life would think or have to say about it. And I know that's not what I should be thinking. I'm trying to find myself, find my style, and my place in this world; and I'm on the right path. I do something that I love, I make time for myself and my friends, and I have loud obnoxious dance parties in my room at least once a day. I say I'm doin alright. I don't want to let myself not give my all, and I know I come up short a lot. I'm working on it. I love where I am right now but I feel like I need to take some risks. Maybe I'll tell someone how I really feel or go shave half my head (haha sike, although if I was badass enough I totally would). We all need to take life a little less seriously, and just breathe. What is important today might be nothing tomorrow. God is a topic I haven't really touched because I'm still trying to figure out my relationship with him but I know that he, or whoever or whatever it is out there in this crazy universe, has some insane plan for me and I've come to terms with the fact that yeah, my life is in my hands but that someone will always be there for me, and that's Him. This blog post has been long and if you're still with me I applaud you :) Good job! So now I'm gonna by bleach my TOMS cause I'm lame but tonight tell yourself something you love about you, cause I love you just the way you are! I'm going to leave you with some pictures of the amazing people in my life but till tomorrow, as always, stay inspired :) You are the only one holding you back...

I could keep going, but I love you all and I don't know what I'd do without my friends...you all are amazing :)